- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
- Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
- Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
- There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
- Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
- Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
- Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
- Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
-
Archives
- January 2015
- May 2014
- March 2014
- January 2014
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- November 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- May 2007
- April 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- January 2007
- December 2006
- November 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- July 2006
- June 2006
- May 2006
- April 2006
- March 2006
- February 2006
- January 2006
- December 2005
- November 2005
- October 2005
-
Meta
3 Responses to 'Chuck Norris killed Bambi's mom' :|